Have you ever felt like you needed to put on a suit of armor before you headed into work? Or maybe you have someone in your life whose number makes you cringe when you see it, because you know you’re about to get unloaded on. You can probably think of a few more examples (or even many) where there are people or environments that just don’t feel good anymore.
There are lots of reasons why we end up in these situations, but the number one is because it’s comfortable. That may seem like crazy talk, but people are remarkably resilient and will put up with a surprising amount of discomfort and even downright pain to avoid having to confront the truth. Maybe that truth is that a relationship you are in has become one-sided over time and no longer serves you, so it’s time to let it go. Or maybe that job that you once loved is something you now dread getting out of bed in the morning for and it’s time to move on. It’s not about the facts, but how you feel and putting that ahead of everything else.
Facing what’s true in our lives and how we really feel about something can be tough. Even getting down to how we really feel can be a challenge, as we rarely slow down and get quiet enough to check in with ourselves. It can be difficult to have a conversation with someone that puts your true feelings out there when you know that they aren’t going to like it. It can make you feel anxious, vulnerable or even afraid. Sometimes you may need to get support to deal with a particularly challenging situation and you should always seek out the right kind of support if abuse (physical or emotional) is involved. Putting yourself first isn’t easy, but you’re the only person who can, and no one can do it for you.
When we put our own truth ahead of what others may think or feel, we are telling ourselves that we have value and that we matter. It doesn’t mean that the things we may need to let go of weren’t valued or didn’t have a place in our lives at one time. It does mean that people and situations are constantly changing, and letting go of what doesn’t work allows room for the things that do. You only have a finite amount of time and energy in your life – why not choose things that contribute to your life in a positive way.
As you go through this week and the busy holiday season, take time to check in with your inner wisdom to root out the things in your life that just need to go. When you find them (and you will), look for a way to gracefully exit the relationship or situation. If you need support to do it, allow yourself to get it. Make you the most important thing in your life and give yourself the gift of the life you deserve, rather than just choosing the comfort of the one you have.